Too each his own

So, I am at a birthday party in a public park for my youngest daughter's close friend.  This is what you do when you have young kids, go to b-day parties on the weekends.  While I was there, I somehow struck up a conversation with another father named Todd, who told me his son was extremely uncomfortable with change.  This child is so uncomfortable, that while we were talking, his son was on the other side of the park sitting on the sidewalk refusing to join the party.  As our conversation progressed on, the father expressed his concern about a problem that he and his wife were having with their son. Todd continued to tell me of a few behavioral problems he and his wife were having with their 6 year old son. They had recently taken him to the doctor and the doctor told them to bribe there son in order to gain compliance. They took the doctor's advice for a few weeks, but needless to say that did not work.  Now please keep in mind, this is the first time that I had met Todd.  I had never seen him at any other events before.  What a great conversation to have with a new parent.   For about an hour, Todd shared story upon story of all of the things he and his wife had been dealing with.  Of all the examples of how crazy this situation was for him, the one that stood out as a" WTF" moment was when he said that every time his son gets upset he hits them (Todd and his wife). YES, THE CHILD HITS THE PARENTS.  Disclaimer, if you do not know me, I do not tolerant disrespect from children on any level.  So for me to hear that a 6 year old child is hitting his parents, left me at a loss for words.  What's even crazier, is that Todd and his wife had no clue what to do about it. Todd asked me, “What can I do”.  I love this question, because I genuinely love to help people.  My first instinct was to say “punch him in the chest once or twice and he will come to his senses", but I know not everyone is as open minded as I am in the area of disciplining your child.  Instead, I said, “not everyone is comfortable with my methods of discipline”. Todd gave me the look of “I know what you mean” and responded very quickly with, “I was spanking him, but my wife isn’t comfortable with that". Todd had sense enough to know that if his wife isn’t doing the same thing, then it doesn’t work”.  America, I understand that there are different types of parenting styles.  I am a firm believer that no matter what your parenting style is, the man is the head of the household and it is his responsibility to lead his family toward Christ.  I also believe that parenting is a two person job.  Men, when you are faced with such challenges in your household, close your eyes and open your heart to what God is telling you to do.  You have to stand firm in your decision to follow the voice you hear on the inside.  Your individual parenting style will change with the influence of the Lord, your spouse, and the personality type of your children, but know in your heart that the course your heart told you was true is the way you must go.  I told Todd, that it was Ok to be the bad guy and that not every decision he made would be the most popular course of action.  I also told him that if he knew in his heart what needs to be done in order to set things on the right track with his son, he needed to go with that.  Prior to having my own son,  I had heard from many of my boys and now have a better understanding of how men, even at a young age challenge the leader to see who the big boss is.  This is why a male-figure is so important.  Some single mothers are able to duplicate this part, but a man has a presence and a uniqueness that balances the child and gains the respect needed to let the children know who is in charge while showing them how a leader should lead.  My advise to Todd was simple.  It’s what I tell any father when in conversation about children.  1. You must always lead with love first.  Leave angry and frustration out of the discipline.  Your children must know you love them even when they do something wrong.  2. Find your daddy voice.  Your child needs to know when the s$#t just got serious.  If you find yourself in a situation with your child where you're yelling and nothing is changing in your child’s response to your yelling, you might need to switch it up, throw them off by keeping calm and handle business and they will get that this is important.  3. You must be consistent with you actions and words.  Sub-consciously you are programming your family with your principles. Be consistent in you steps and your wife and your children will follow.  After our conversation, Todd looked relieved.  I trust that Todd will find his daddy voice with his son  and subsequently help him to fall into line.  

So my question to you:

What advise would you have given Todd?