From the Inside Out

A child is born.  It has the ability to know the heartbeat of their mother and distinguishes there father by the sound of his voice.  They did not decide whether they want to be on this earth. That decision falls on the mother and the father.  But what I would like for all the parents and future parents to understand, is when one parent is absent, particularly the father, it’s like going to class thinking you’re fully prepared to learn the lesson of the day, you have your books, you have your tablet, but you don’t have anything to write with.  There will always be something missing in your child’s life when the father is not in it.  Always! There is a yearning for a father that a child will always look for from any male adult but will still only be half full. I know this, because I lived this.  I remember the days where I would talk back to my mother because I thought I knew everything and then my brother comes home and I listen to everything he says.  Or the difference in my attitude and behavior when a female teacher ask me to do something vs when a male teacher asked me to do the exact the same thing.  I couldn’t explain it back then.  There was this feeling that was and sometimes still is, behind every thought I would have.  A feeling that never escaped me, tugging on my collar trying to get my attention.  Distracting me from my current tasks.  Interfering with my relationships. Whispering in my ear, “are you sure you can do this”, “don’t waste your time, just peace out”.  All the while, hanging on every word of any male that made halfway decent sense of things whether right or wrong.

What is a child to do when there are feelings on the inside that can’t be explained but is demonstrated on the outside though speech, dress, and behavior?  I know, they become a subconscious hunter and gather.  Patrolling the streets seeking out nourishment for the feelings that haven’t been feed.  They search high and low looking for that connection.  For someone to say those words that instantly puts a smile on their heart.  Every fatherless child living knows what I’m talking about.  The words used to let children know that you are watching.  “I’m proud of you”, “good job”, “I knew you could do it”, “I love you”.  The question is, will that come from you?  Will you be there to see the glory of god in action?  Or will it come from the gang down the street that does petty crimes for fun.  Or the drug dealer who makes tons of money and buying fancy jewelry and flashy cars.

It’s never too late to be a good dad.  The choice is yours.  

It always was.